Alice (nono_forever) wrote,

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Rest in Peace Baby Cat

Everyone on livejournal is entitled to at least one super emo post.

This is mine.

I mean theoretically I should have known this day was coming.  I've had my cat Priscilla for 18 years now.  In fact the memory of getting her is one of my earliest memories.  When I saw her at Christmas she was doing just fine, but I got a call from my parents on Monday saying that she had suddenly taken a bad turn.  They told me to come home on the weekend so I could say goodbye to her cause they didn't think she would make it. 

Then last night they called again and told me that I should come home on Thursday instead.  They didn't know if she would even make it through the night.  I was rushed home this morning to see her.  When I got back she had collapsed on the way to the bathroom to try and get a drink of water.  I held her and she basically just eased into my arms and didn't move.  It was heartbreaking.  She obviously couldn't hear or see me anymore, but she somehow knew I was there for her.  I think she had been holding out just to see me one last time.  My parents said that the past few days she had been going back to my room to look for me and sleep on my bed, even though she hadn't done that in a while. 

Within an hour of my return home she had basically given up.  Once I was there she didn't need to hold out any longer.  My mom called the vet and had our appointment with her moved up and we went over to have her put to sleep.  I couldn't stand the thought of her suffering anymore.  They were very nice about the whole thing and I think for a span of 4 hours I just didn't stop crying.  She went peacefully and just fell asleep in my arms.  I didn't set her down once until I laid her down in the grave out behind our house.  We buried her with a bag of her favorite things, a few toys, a piece of lettuce, some feathers, and a picture of me.  Now she gets to rest with my mom's favorite cat and my grandfather's ashes. 

God it's all almost too much to process.  I still remember seeing her that first day at the shelter when I was just six.  Our whole family tried to hold her and she just wiggled out of their arms and tried to run.  Until I held her and she just curled up against me, and I knew that she was the cat for me.  We were basically inseparable from elementary school all through high school.  I would come home from class and she would curl in my lap as I read or watched TV.  When I wasn't there she would wander the house and meow, looking for me.  We would eat dinner together and she would always share the lettuce from my salad with me.  Together we would make fun of my brother's silly cat. 

I don't think I'll ever have a cat quite like Priscilla ever again.  Frankly, I don't know if I want to even try.  Everything after her would just be a disappointment. 

Rest in Peace my lil baby cat.  I'll never forget you and I'll always love you.

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